Too much perhaps?

I was bored as hell last night and I was gonna blog until my friend jejom-ed me for DoTa. Hahaha. While YM-ing with my friends last night, a thought came across my mind. If I spoke too much with them, won’t they be bored of me? So, the inner-self began talking and conversing with the inner-mind.

Inner-self goes first :
“You’ve been with them long enough
to let them know who you really are, don’t sweat it,
they’re there cause they accepted you for who you are already.

Then came the reply from the inner-mind :
“Yeah, I know that, but, they have come to accept me
but I’m just curious whether or not
they will eventually be bored of me. Hehe.”

So, I kinda held back there for a second, not wanting to talk much with my cliques. I was typing simple replies and lessen the Hahaha word-usage. Haha. But, I couldn’t contain myself any longer so I burst-out into this chat-maniac, typing rapidly and replying almost instantly to every chat box. Hahaha. I guess, you can’t really change who you are. I like my inner-self better than my inner-mind. Inner-self is the one who speaks from the box of my heart. Inner-mind is from the brain but, he’s not that smart. Hahahaha. Apa ba sia merepek ni.

Anyway, I break my own words of updating this blog again, just because I’m super bored here.

3 more days in KK for this term. I have to have a license by next holiday. Warming up the couch every day has warmed-up the arse to be big as well. Hahaha. Haih. Anyway, that’s all for today.

Random thought of the day : hohoho. Some one called home this morning, and I picked up the phone. She talked in Kadazan and I was like so blur cuz I just woke up. But then I remembered, hey, I know this language. Haha. I understood what she said and wala! I was replying her in Kadazan also, fluently lagi tu. Hahaha. Well, I’m kinda proud. Haha. Usually I’d reply in Malay but Nu-uh! I did good. Haha. Excellent way to kick-off this day!

p/s : Baju berkolar x cukup. Terpaksa beli untuk STE and Undergrade. Wahhh

I’m Yours.

Hey Guys! Hahahaha. I know I said I won’t be updating until some time after my STE, but, just wanna say here, I’ve uploaded a new video to my Youtube Channel. Hahahaha. I won’t give outthe link here. If you wanna see it, find it. Hahaha.

It’s kinda obvious in my blog. There’s a link somewhere. Lol. Rate & Comments Appreciated. hehe.

Thanks!

Panat ni kaki sia.

Hahahaha. ya!! I’m super tired. Anyway, I’m not in the blogging mood just yet. I think I won’t be blogging until the end of my STE. So, await my post ya! hehe..

Anyway,

Thanks loads to Nuge for always willing to send and fetch me home. Hahahaha. Don’t worry Nuge, sia blanja ko nnt! and sia simpan rahsia handphone tu. =)

Thanks ma org2 bofot jua, cuz sanggup tunggu orang KK. Sabar ya Bofotian. wahahaha.

Thanks ma org Ranau, sanggup jalan ma blanja sia lagi tu.. Wahahaha..

Thanks to Sammi, Anus, Hakim, Carmen, and Mort, for that night. I gainedd 2kg kali from dat. Shoot. Good Luck Sammi! I’m ony a message away ya, if you need a friend. Hehe. Oh, Thanks Anus for sending me home. Hahahaha. Thanks Mor cuz blanja Shisha.

Thanks to Melyn and Hakim for taking the sijil with me. Hahaha. Thanks Tcher Rainul cuz blanja us makan. Hahaha.

One more week left in this holiday in KK. Sedih. But, gonna make the best out of it! Guys, Kluar lae kita one more time! Hahahaha..

Await my next post! Chow.

Congrats Meline!

Woo~ !! 2 years ago, sama ja level kita.. Now.. hahahahaha

This post is dedicated to my special and dear best friend, Miss Ameline Ronald Dompok!

So, 20th June is the date today, and you’re graduating!! Wow!! Graduate- A-Level ja la.. Hahahaha. But still, an achievement ba that kan! One step closer to your dreams girl!. Anyway, enjoy your holidays. It’ll end soon. Muahaha.

PS: Bila mo jalan ni Melyn?

Hang Out Frenzy!

Yo!
Didn’t think there’ll be an update huh? Ahaha. Well, it’s the holiday and I have a lot of time to kill. Wait2. I have to type that out again.

I HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO KILL!!!

I’m dead serious on this. Haha. Being the first week of holiday that I actually spend in KK, I went on a hang out frenzy with my friends, non-stop. Hahaha. Argh. Hahaha. This also means my money was pouring out of the ATM machine, into the wallet and soon after that, it went out of the wallet again. Well, if you didn’t get that, I’m spending a lot! Hahahaha. Well, not exactly a lot la. Anyway, here’s how it went.

- Night time, Saturday -

Ok, So, the plane landed around 8 something. Was in flight with Nuge and Alex. After getting our luggages, met up with Alex’s Papa and my Aunt and Cuz. Went separate ways with the guys cuz it was time to savour home sweet home with family! But, not yet. Hahaha. They were kinda shocked to see the pieces of me, I don’t know why, but they keep saying I’m thinner. Hahaha. Cousin Girly said “Napa ko kurus ni, mari sia blanja ko McD” and so we went to the Airport Mcd. Turns out they had this voucher coupons. Ugh. Hahaha. So, ate there and talked before returning to the sweet village. Met up with the rest of the big family there. Slept alone for the night btw.

- Morning, Sunday –

Woke up around 8 and decided to tumpang pak cik for mass at church. Called up and got ready. After that, we boarded the Avanza and went for mass. After that, went to Karamunsing to eat. Pilipin ja ba memasak sana. Hahaha. Nothing special happened actually. That night played Katam2 and Mah jong at grandmas. Slept alone again. Air Cond Luxury. Hahaha.

- Morning, Monday -

Introducing friend Number 1, Diniy. My high schoolmate and Mcd Crewmate once upon a time dulu. He picked me up at my crib and we went to Karamunsing again. Hahaha. We went there and Kbox! wahaha. After that, we made our rounds at the complex before having lunch at Mcd. Haha. Then, we were of to CP. There, we watched Terminator Salvation.

Awesome Movie!

I’m telling you. It’s ****ing awesome. Well, at least for me it is. The actions are like the ones you could expect out of the first Transformer. After the movie, we went straight to Mcd below, hey, no, we were not eating again. We were meeting Samantha or Sammi or as I call her, Su there. Hehe. She was having her break and got to meet up with her. Talked a whole lot before heading back. Diniy wanted to take some series out of my hard drive so borrowed him the thing. After he was gone for about an hour or so, I came to realise my contact lens cases is still in his car. Damn. Buta la ni. hahaha. Anyway, cooked rice and ate. Slept alone again!

Thanks Diniy!!

My bestie from high school!

- Evening, Tuesday -

Was browsing the net that afternoon when I got a message from Nuzul, saying he’s coming over to my house. Hahaha. He don’t even know where it is. But, hey, I told him to bring along his sport shoes cuz I wanted to jog so badly. Haha. So, he brought along our guitar and we jammed a while before heading out to Tun Fuad’s Stephen’s Hill. We went for shortcut and reached there shortly. Haha. Parked the car and soon after that, we were jogging non-stop making full round at the place. After one whole round, we met up with Edgar, who was wearing green, and tired. Hahaha. After ONLY one round, well, Nuge was in a hurry to go back, we went to Lido and tapau-ed KFC. omg. Hahaha. Then, he sent me home before heading back. Again, cooked rice and ate kFC. hehe. Slept alone again. Huhu.

Thanks Nuge! Hahaha.

Bestie from Likas

- Morning, Wednesday -

Chat with Hakim, confirming on today’s plans. Apparently, Agnes mistakenly saw my sms saying we’re meeting each other at 1. Well, it was suppose to be 10, but, anyway, Hakim managed to woke her up in time. Haha. Su changed her mind about going cos of a misunderstading before it was cleared up and we were up and running again with the plans!. So, here comes a white MyVi into my house’s porch and was honking away. Haha. Nda pandai stop hon ba si Anus. Haha. Then, we went off to CP. We met up with Keith, and dragged him along to Pizza Hut. Over there, we saw a junior of ours, working as a waiter there. We ordered up and waited SO LONG. Even the people who came way after us got their order first. Damn. And I tell you, I was damn hungry by that point. Thankfully, we talked a whole lot and it got my mind off of the hunger. Haha. So, then, we ate, I didn’t pretty much care about manners anymore. Hahaha. I think I ate the most slices among us. Hahaha. Then, they decide to praise and compliment our junior over there by writing good words on him on the receipt, and handing it to the manager. Haha. Then, parted ways with Keith, we were in the white MyVi again and headed out to 1borneo. Wee. Hakim was a disturbance in the car. Haih.

Funny! Go watch it!!

We bought tickets for 17 again and entered the cinema. I HAD to sit with Hakim. Jahat oh dorang Su. No offence ya kim. Hahaha. Anyway, Hakim was asking me best or not the movie, and when the first scene played (which featured a shirtless Efron), Hakim said, PUNYA BEST NI MOVIE. I like it already. hahahaha. So Funny. But the movie was funny. hahaha. After the movie, we went downstairs and Su was browsing through wallets. She eventually bought a new one. Then, we headed to Veda Blu. Haha. Can you believe it, there was Tapai flavour! OMG. Haha. I have to test them out! Haha. So I did, I tested em. and yeah, it’s tapai. hahaha. The guys were busy testing it out also. I was last to picked out a flavor so I got to kinda talked with the girls at the counter a bit. Wahaha. This one particular girl was pushing Rum and Raisin to me. So I took it. Niceee. haha. Then, we reminiced the past and soon after that, we went back. Anus send me off to the front gate. Hehe. Met up with my family back home(they just came back from Kuantan), and finished the night with Katam2 again. hahaha. Not alone tonight.

Thanks Su, Anus & Hakim!

2 of my besties ~ Agnes and Sammi

Hakim~ My bestie yg gila

- Morning, Thurday -

Got a call from Jimi and smsed with him and Syahmi. They already arrived at CP. Hahaha. I was still waiting for my sister to send me off. My mum took her Kelisa out, so we took the Prado. Arrived there and met up with Tuition boy, Mimi and Jimo. Hehe. Waited for Nuge and finally the day started! We ate the Chicken Rice shop first cuz everyone was tired of Mcd. Hahaha. Thanks Jimo for spending me! Hahaha. Then, we went to for 3 games of bowling. Hish. Jimo menang first 2 games and I won the last one. Hahaha. I’m sorry. There’s a group of Doofuses who played next to us. The way they spoke was damn hilarious, I couldn’t help but lose . Hahaha. Then, we went browsing for handphone cuz Jimo was buying a new one and but we didn’t find any luck at CP. Then, we went to Wawasan Plaza and Mimi went to pay for his bro’s postpaid bill. After that, we left Jimo there and we went to CityMall. Karaoked for an hour before heading home. Hehe. Nuge, thanks cuz hantar balik! 2 hari suda! hehe. Anyway, I made this short cuz Syahmi posted this on his blog also. Read up! Click the Click here to go to Mimi’s post —> CLICK HERE! . After going home, checked up AirAsia and MAS website and HOLY SMOKE! harga tiket naik suda. Haih. Called up Fli, and can u believe it, I’m his best friend (I think), and he don’t even recognize my voice. Hahaha. Called Nuge up too, and he knows my voice. Terharu. hahaha. In the end, we settled for AirAsia, 5th July, 9.45 am flight. Anybody wanna stalk ? hahahaha.

Here’s some pix. Sorry, was not in mood of snapping pix. hahaha.

Ha ambek ko!

While Mimi was britney-spearsing

I’m not a girl~~ bak kata syahmi..

Lolo membenargunakan phonenya sendiri wahaha..

Mimi menyalahgunakan phone Lolo

Feeling Bah

Artist pujaan diri sendiri.. Hahahahaha

Bujang Lapok

Mamat Indon close up Hahahaha

Artist Lapok nyanyi smbl mamat indon tengok..

Artist mula menyanyi

macho Sial..

Lagu Nubhan dulu lah..

Thanks Guys!!

Nuge // Mimi // Jimo

- Whole day, Friday-

Was so bored cuz wasn’t going out. Haih. haha. But got to play many games of Dota with my bestie, Jimo. Hahaha. Smooth lagi tu. Hehe. Then, we planned to go out tomorrow.

- Morning, Saturday -

I woke up and watched John Carpenter bla bla with my sis at the living room while texting Jai and Jimo. They were in KK already. Haha. So, then, mummy finished washing the clothes and after I got ready, I rushed mummy to send me off. But before that, I hung all the clothes, except for the bras. Hahaha. Then, it was off to our destination! So, after guiding mummy the road, hahahaha, I showed her the shorter way ok, She dropped me at Karamunsing and she was off to her kebun. I met up with Jimo and we go round the Complex. After that, we had lunch at Mcd and then, went for a hair cut. Haha. My hair is shorter now. The picture you saw in the previously post is no longer valid. Haha. Anyway, jimo wasn’t even gonna cut his hair at first. This guy talked to him about hair and started touching his hair and told Jimo he’d style em up for him. So he got a haircut and looked a whole lot more like and artist. hahaha. Then, he delivered a bad news, that he have to follow his mum back cuz they were gonna go to their kampung. Haha. okla.

Frikkin awesome!! My fav out of this week!!

So, I walked all the way to CP, cuz initially, we planned to watch Drag Me To Hell together. Haha. So, I went there alone. In the cinema, the full house cinema that is, the movie was so frikkin awesome. It lived up to the trailer’s awesomeness you know. Haha. I was sitting next to an a Chinese lady who was hugging her daughter who was crying. Stupid. Hahaha. I understand a bit Chinese, and the mum was saying, Bu yao Kan, Bu yao Kan( Don’t see, don’t see) to her daughter. I couldn’t help but laugh. Hahaha. Then her mum was out of Chinese words I think so she said Alamak, Alamak while covering her daughter’s face. Hahaha. Can you believe it! The daughter was older than I am. Hahaha. Pergghhh.. Hahaha. Then, bought a new Wax at Watson before heading back with my sisters.

Thanks Jimo!!

Ni kes xda gmbr.. hahahahaha

FUhh… So. That was the full update. Haha. I don’t care if it bored you or what. Hahaha. The point is, it’s my blog, and I intend to read back my posts in the future. Hahaha. So, that’s it. Take Care Peeps.

PS: Lesson learnt : I need a driving license.

PS2: Watch all the movies I watch. They’re f***ing awesome wei!!

PS3: Thanks for reading if you made it here. Hehe.

Finally back~

Ha! Finally back to Sabah. Woo. hahaha. I know the feeling don’t last long, but let’s make the best of it while it last. Hehehe.

Argh. Where do I start this time? Hmmm. Well, let me start with an apology. I’m sorry for neglecting the blog for a month already! I’ve really been so busy with my studies and my final exam last month. Life was pretty much hectic during those time and heck I’ve no time for the blog. I don’t even have time to blog surf at that time. So, SORRY TO YOU PEOPLE!!

Anyway, let me trace back what happened since the last time I updated this sphere. Hmm. I guess I was busy with my studies primarily. All lectures were done up until the study week, except for darn Economics. Hish. Anyway, got all the coursework marks at the last minute, and I’m super proud of myself this semester! Not to brag, but, hey, my blog, my talk, just read. Hahaha! All my coursework marks are above 50, except for darn Economics(which came close to 50).

I finished up the ipsp group quiz for my group, with major help from Mel, ahaha! and we actually presented in front of Mr Azhan for the Economic projects. Woo~ I stuttered a bit in the presentation, cuz I couldn’t wait for the slides. Haha! But managed to grabbed my momentum back. Thank God I practised. Hahaha. Fli, Izzah, Uyun and Hafsah did fantastic! They didn’t even stutter. Damn. Hahaha. I was the slacker but I still believe we were one of the best. Wahaha.

Izzah, Uyun, Hafsah, Me, Fli

yeah2

Hehehe. After the presentation, Hafsah blanja me, Fli and Izzah at V3. Woo hoo! Thx Hafsah! Ko baik~ Izzah tu, tak pandai take advantage opportunity. Wahaha. Jangan marah Izzah. Ko blanje sia next time ek! Woo! Anyway, after the presentation, all were done and finally we got focus for the final exam. The study week began finally. I spent most of my days studying Econs, Maths and IBIS. When I got bored of studying, I either went to sleep, eat or sports in between studies. Fuh. And the exams finally commenced.

Maths was first. I was super scared cuz my test 2 wasn’t that convincing. Thankfully, the night before, I did some past year question with my gang. It paid off. Thanks to Engineering people also for helping out with Integration. Hehe. My roomie, Nuge, Alex, Jai and Aspal for helping us out that night. Then the next paper was darn Economics.  Ugh. I finished the paper, feeling good, since I managed to finish it. Damn. But when I got back to the hostel, I realized I did something wrong and lost about 20 marks already. Damn. Haih. Was so stressed up. Thankfully, those good people comforted me and we played Dota, even with IBIS exam tomorrow. Hahaha!

So, second day was fine. I finished the IBIS exam earlier than I thought, being the 3rd person to walk out of the hall(Chewah, mengira tol). Then, we had a one day break. Preparation for English only took us about 2 hours to tell the short stories to each other. After feeling bored and quite confident, hahaha, we were off to a DoTa game. Gila kan? Haha. The last paper, we did more past year question and finished up the semester with the paper. I was free! I went out of the hall feeling so alive. Hahaha. Then, after the exam, the ICT/BIS student took many group picture. Haha. Was suprised that there wasn’t one with my face in it. Sigh. Hahaha. Nevermind la. I still love the people =)

Ha!

So, what next?

After the exam, the next big thing was us going out to Ipoh again. Haha. We played ping pong, Bowling and snooker. Well, that was quite boring. hahaha. But, the next day, only me, Fli, Jai and Syahmi, Jimi left in village 1 (well, excluding other people outside the clique la). So, we went out, except Jimo, cuz he was out somewhere else, we went to IP to eat sushi. Punya mahal tp, kenyang! Then, we went round the floor and stumbled across saloons. We (me and Fli and Nuge) talked about wanting to dye our hair. Well, a lady greeted us outside her saloon and helped us made our decision. We decided to do it. Fli wanted a full head dye and his hair turned out awesome. he looked like a foreigner! Hahaha. Sudahlah hensem, muka putih2 ckit, nah, tmbh hensem la. Hahaha. I decided to highlight my hair brown. And I was happy with the result. hahaha. Pilak pun pilak la, maka, Sia pilak yg hensem =P. Jai also decided to go for a haircut and a highlight. His hair looked somewhat like the one he pointed out of the magazine but the colour was a bit dark. Haha.

Just showcasing my hair. Hahahaha

Then, we went back and packed and finally tomorrow came! Woo hoo! We went to Gopeng and parted there. After 6 hours, I arrived at Kuantan, and met Daddy with his new car. Hahaha. Spacious and nice. Woo. hahaha. Well, after being there for 4 days, all I can say is, Kuantan is peaceful, and boring, but, the excitement lies in the food i suppose. hahahaha. No offense Kuantan people. Then, the rest of the family came to Kuantan. The food frenzy continued. Hehe. Then, I flew to KLIA and took a bus to LCCT and even begged for RM1 from a stranger. Can you believe that?! After that, met up with Nuge and we played Dota and ate there, met up with Alex and Abuzar and then, the next thing I know, we were back in KK! Woo!!!

Well, I don’t wanna talk much anymore~ Woo! let me enjoy the holiday and try to sum it all up soon! Hehehe.

Can’t wait to get back to UTP, but, can’t wait to enjoy the holiday! hahahaha

Chow people!

Towards the end! – Happy Mummy’s day!

It’s been a while since my last post. I guess when you can’t get a grip of everything here, everything else seems to be left out easily. Again, my blog became one of the those with less priority, so I kinda abandoned it. Haha.

Well, first and foremost, I just wanna give a big shout out to my mummy :

HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY MUMMY!!!

Nanti lah sia balik KK then blanja u makan k mummY! xda present this year. Jauh bo gia. Hehe.

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Okay, Moving on. Huhu. I didn’t go to church today. Didn’t know there wasn’t gonna be any bus provided today, probably cuz the Undergrads are having their exam next week. (Funny, churches are always crowded in KK during exam season). Nevermind, I’m going to church next week no matter at what cost. If they don’t want to go, I’ll rent a car and ask a friend to drive me there. Haha.

Ho yeah. This time around, I’m aiming for a good 4 flat. Haha. Boleh ka? I don’t know. It just seem so possible this sem. So far, my test 1 marks are convincing, my coursework marks are turning out pretty good I guess, and although test 2 are kinda hard, I hope I score at least 75% of all paper. Really working towards straight aces for this finals.

Maybe I’m getting hopeful because of my commitments this sem. My econs group members – Fli, Hafsah, Uyun, Izzah, are all super hardworking people with great minds attached to their personalities. My econs assignment was particularly hard if we didn’t start early. Thankfully, we did it early and finished early. Hafsah was great as a leader, being diplomatic and all and she seems very efficient in giving out task. Oh, special shout out to my best friend Fli here. Hahaha. Kalau bukan pasal ko, nda jua siap sia punya part. Hahaha. Hafsah bila nak blanja kami ne?? Dah lama tunggu ni Hahaha.

Then, we have this IBIS project and assignment. My team members were Fli, Syahmi, Terry and Yves. The Project was seriously &%#*$@!ing hard if you don’t have any basics of Microsoft Access. The infos inside the book didn’t help much, damn it. Since I started most of the work, I decided to finish it. Thanks a lot to all who helped out especially Gadis(wink2), Lyana, Hafsah, Miaw, Mahsyar, and my team members for doing their best in this project. The only screwed up part was the changing deadline. anger and panicked overcame us and we submitted the unfinished project(actually it’s finished just that we didn’t get the output we wanted). Haih. Anyway, that’s done already so moving on. For the assignment, we had to make a slideshow to make it look like a commercial to promote UTP for the foundation studies. I teamed up with Fli and Syahmi on this one. We went around UTP with Arai’s friend car(Sorry, tak tau sapa nama dia) and we snapped the sceneries with my almost broken digital cam. Hahaha. We took some break and cam-whored a lot. Hahaha. Thanks Nuzul bawa kami naik tu kereta, and for tutoring driving. Hahahahaha. Oh ya, our commercial was nice. Hahaha. But again, we had deadline issues and submitted 1 hour late and got marks deducted. Ish. am pm confusion occured again.

Should I upload the pix? Not now maybe. Maybe later at home when I’m gonna be so bored during the holiday. I’ll do a season recap. Eh. A semester look-back. Hahaha.

Well, I’m gonna have my exams soon. Specifically, in 2 weeks time. Argh! Oh, in fact, I still have one more test paper and one more lab test to go through next week. It’s IPSP, my favourite subject. Haha. Damn. and that quiz ain’t done yet. Study week coming next next week. Please pray for me people. Really aiming high this sem. Hehe.

Oh, minor update, wasted some of the computer loan money on Karpersky 09 antivirus and a printer(which i patak2 bayar with Fli, Syahmi and Nuzul). Long term usage. So, don’t be mad, parents. Oh yeah, my exam period will be from 25th til the 30th June. Argh. After that, I’m gonna go to my dad’s place in Kuantan. Finally got the chance to go there. Haha. But, it still depends on whether I can get there early or not, cuz I’m waiting for the ticket sales in UTP. Hopefully, or else, I’mma have to get to Kuantan in some other way. Haih. Gonna be there until the 6th, and will be flying solo home with Nuzul, and be home alone until the 10th of June. Haha. So, besties in KK, await my home coming!! Hehehe.

I’m so bored.

I gotta get back to the quiz. Oh wait. Maybe later.
I better take my bath and dinner first. Then maybe I can do the quiz. Or should I just Dota tonight? Haha.

Best of luck UTPIANs! especially to my coursemates and whoever la yang know me here in UTP.

Oh, to ICT/BIS student, if you haven’t joined the google group, here’s the link : ICT/BIS 08 google group

Well, that’s it for now. Bye2.

Jangan. huhu.

Argh. Since my last post, many things have happened and some things I thought never change, changed. I’m kinda disappointed with a part of myself for not being able to solve my problems the way I really should have. I kept on going with my ego, thinking things will fix themselves up on their own. Haih. And. I’ve been so bothered these past few days about these things. I’ve been wanting to blog, it’s just that this blog is like an open window that people can peek to see through me. I’m worried about that. Especially about my family being able to read these as well. I guess I just need to let things out so, what the heck. It’s only gonna be a read for them right?

Yes. I’ve been seeing a lot of myself in people I despised before. I use to say a lot of things to make people look bad. I mean, come on. Human. But then again, it’s not like I’m this devil who only say those kinds of things. I am, again, Human. I know when not to cross the line. Anyway, the things that bothers me much this days is the anger issues. I guess one of my best friends pointed it out to me everyday. I’m the short-fuse guy, but I never could admit that. This is simply because I’m also a guy who would take it all in and keep it inside. It’s just that I can explode anytime with a volcanic rage. That’s when things starts to get out of control.

Yes. I don’t like being attacked. Especially on things I know I’m right on. I refuse to back down whenever I know what is right is being questioned. And. I don’t mind being proven wrong, but the key word there, PROVEN. I really hate it when people laugh at me whenever I’m being challenge. Yeah. It’s like insulting my right to be right. It’s like saying I’m the one who always tell lies. It’s like I’m the target for their satisfaction. I don’t know. I may just be saying all these things out of anger. But that’s what I’m in right now. Anger mode.

I’m the kind of person who enjoys stress derived from hard work or long hour work. But emotional stress, now that I can’t take. I always need people to listen out to my problem. Thank God for people like Fli and Syahmi. I know I get on their nerves sometimes but at least they’re there. It’s hard to be everyone’s best friend. Now I know that. Huhu. I don’t really wanna be the one breaking friendships, cuz that’s just very wrong. Aches can heal, broken part can be repaired and broken ties can be mended. I wish I know what to say.

Again, I feel so helpless sometimes when I don’t know what to do especially when I let someone down. You seek forgiveness and yet all you get is a cold shoulder. You think it’ll go away but things aren’t heading the way you want it to be. Now, I wished I tried harder, but what if what’s lying in front of the path is only gonna consume you more emotionally, negatively that is. I don’t mind sacrificing for the betterment of the situation. It’s just that now, I’m afraid to take the risk of losing the friendship completely. Ugh. I wish I know what to do.

I need to lift this weight of my chest. It’s really burdening. I don’t like pretending, so I’ll be frank saying I’m not okay emotionally. But, I still have to put on a face that people would ignore so that I won’t have to face more complexity. Huhu. I wish it will stop already.

PS: I’m okay. Just need to voice out. really. im okay.

PS2: I’m gonna update soon. Holiday comin up. Many things did happen. hehe.

A short ramble.

This is gonna be short. I promise. Why on earth won’t the sponsor bank in the allowance money yet. Spare me the bull, I’m not interested in the excuses. I know I sound spoilt now, but I’m in the state of desperation right now. Hanging onto a thread in the campus without having anymore pocket money. I thought I’d be able to survive. I still think I’m able. Just not by myself. I’m surviving with some bucks borrowed from friends. Yes. To that extent. But, things are worse now. The borrowed bucks ran out and I had to go back to my parents for some aid. I don’t like doing that. Asking my dad to bank in some cash, just because what? I’ve spent too much on the unnecessary until the money dried out in the account?. Shame on me, shame on me. It takes responsibility and independence to survive here. I’ve taken this two lightly and see what happen to me. Poor. Poor poor guy. Literally.

Anyway, I’m praying that the allowance will come soon. Should I go out of money when the allowances are still taking their sweet ***h*l* time, I think I’ll give starvation a go. Seriously? No. But maybe for once, I’d learn a thing or too about the real world. But, it seems like I educated myself enough  by ending this ramble with a period.

Thus.

P/S: To my respected sponsor, I need cash. BADLY.

P/S: Special bday mention to Carmen Lee, Agnes Chong, Jeremy(roomie), Nuzul, Gordon Chin, Hamka Ahmad, Cousin Victor, Cousin Nicole, Aunty Lydia, Erize, Louisa, Lornetha for the month of April. If I forgot anyone. Sorry!

P/S : oh! look out for my next post. I’ll be posting some pictures. Heee.

Now wasn’t that short. Nitez people.

Page updated.

Read if you want. Friends’ page added under Random Rambles. Look at the side bar to the right. Hehe. Have a new day!

p/s: allowance. Come in. Please. desperation mode.