I teared up.

I guess I couldn’t control myself. Losing a girl I really like and come to love. It came so suddenly. Her question makes me skip a heartbeat, and I all I could do is to tell her that I really have come to love her. But, distance is a shitty factor of why our relationship never seemed to work. I wanna be with her, yes. I wanna hug and hold her hand, yes. I wanna kiss her whenever I get the chance to do so, yes. I wanna spend time with her all day long and call her up all night long, yes.

She said she’s confused. She wants a break up from me but she can’t seem to let me go either. She wants her honey to hold her cause she feels so lonely whenever her honey is not around. How can I be around when I’m way over here and she’s way over there. We said we could make this work, but we couldn’t. It’s not that we’re not faithful to each other. I guess sometimes the feelings wear off easily with this distance. The only time when the feeling’s oh-so-high is when we call each other up and text each other.

I love her. Yes. I love her. But now she just want to be friends. It’s hard for me to accept that. She said she can’t trust herself to be faithful to me because the distance is taking its toll on her. I want to say no. I want to continue being in a relationship with her, but what can I do? I feel so numb and helpless. I can’t stop thinking now.

It hurts so much inside. I felt weak thinking on the idea of letting her go. How the hell am I gonna deal with this? Faking happy faces but silently having a broken heart inside. No, I rather not talk about it with people. I don’t wanna tell the whole story over and over again. This is as far as anyone can know about it. Am I starting over? I don’t know. I’m not ready.

Break-ups.

Feeling down and sad, feeling empty and mad.