Passion

Well, first off, freedom should not translate into boredom. It’s up to you right?

So, here I am being free from examinations and the holiday mood kicks in. You know, that same old mood you get everytime you end the last paper. The high provided by freedom is just fucking unreal. You just wanna go do everything all at once. Go back home, drink all night, karaoke, dance, drink some more, hang out with your best friends etc etc.

Well, not all of my friends are done with their exams today. Ehem Bieber. Ehem Stiel. Ehem yg lain. hahaha. I see my roomate finishing his movie marathon and sleeping now as the rain is alluring him into bed. Nas is off to celebrate his Nasriejahsary with none other than Kak Halijah. Haha. Congrats pok & female-pok!

So, I was thinking about something just now. What to do with my life sooner or later. What major to take in my Bachelor degree studies, what minor to take. Then, I fast forward to 5 years from now and I tried to envision 2015 Lo who’s supposed to be sexier, cuter and thinner. But anyway, I see future Lo to be a top programmer. Wahaha. I wish. Hey, my dream, my vision, so I’m allowed to be on top right.

But anyway, again, I thought about passion. What should I really be doing? Well, I want a car first off. I guess I’m not getting one soon am I? I got about 1 more month before I go for my practicals(hopefully in Sabah) and I would want a car by then. Haha. It would be nice to have a girlfriend by then, to meet her oftenly as I can and to finally re-taste a chapter in this life that was bitter and FYI, it’s getting sweeter now. Bitter memories be gone, I want some sweet treat next.

So, revisiting the title’s post. Passion. I was seriously thinking about my passion for singing. Haha. Yeah. Bukan apa, it’s better to do something you truly love and possibly good at then attempting to fit in so much doing the things you know you don’t really wanna do. I do wanna sing more. In public. And yes. That’s a confession. I can’t possibly deal with fame so I thought about doing some open talent gigs where you could just sing in front of the mass public and then be remembered for your skills and sexiness of course. I realllly want that. But still, I’m too far off in that direction except for my Youtube page which is getting rustier and rustier as the days goes on.

So, I watched some movies lately and might I say, I like the whole idea of giving yourself a break and turn your life into a movie for just a moment. To be able to enjoy this life with whatever you have and to still rock in reality. I’ve been sitting duck trying to stay-low, but to enjoy life, it’s all about the freaking decisions you make. What you didn’t do is what you didn’t get and what you chose to do is what sets you apart from others.

Some people are not or let’s change that to never, some people never want to take a risk. Why risk getting hurt when you can avoid it? But why not risk getting hurt when you can go through it. You are never gonna experience an experience worth remembering if you are a constant safe-player. What you will remember is how you didn’t do anything. Yeah, easy for me to say right? At least I’m playing by this rule. Why you think people are successful anyway? They took a risk in the first place. Risk of shame, risk of losing everything, risk of pride.

Same goes to love. You won’t love until you take a risk. To ask a girl’s number, to tell her you like her, to tell her you’re in love with her, to tell her you don’t love her, to tell her you are crazy with her. Anyway, I don’t wanna talk about love. ahahaha.

Oh2, looks like I’m going on and off track on this post. But whatever is it, passion is a drive. It drives you to decision to a risk. Believe that you can do it and you’ll do awesome. Risk it and own it. Don’t just decide to stop and stare to watch others do it.

Ok statement yang saya mau buat : If anybody throws me a recording deal, I’ll take it. If there’s any chance to audition outside, I would. If anybody asked me to sing somewhere, I would. If I feel like covering lady gaga song, I would.

Life is a box of chocolate. You’ll never know what you’ll get. Sometimes you get nuts, sometimes you get caramel. Sometimes you get cookies and raisins inside. That’s how life is. It’s unpredictable. Be sure to have good teeth to face those chocolates!

 

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Just the way I am

I don’t like being alone. This, I mean, in terms of friendship.

The way things are looking up, I’m really glad people around me have come to acceptance on the way I am which is hard to change. As the popular saying goes, which I think is a loser’s way of giving in, “Nobody’s Perfect”, it does makes perfect sense that imperfection of a person is what distinct you from other personalities.

I have this bad trait in myself which I hate so much more than people hate it which is : My sensitivity.

Kalau orang lain cakap, saya sensitive lagi teruk dari perempuan. Hahaha. Oh shit. sorry. Mood was spoilt by the hahaha. Back to the mood. Well, my friends can see what mood am I in just by the look on my face. When I’m tired, my eyes are extraordinarily small, when I’m pissed, my lips go pouty and my brows goes curvy. When I’m happy, my cheeks mouth goes wide. When I feel sexy my eyes go squinty. oh shit. I ruined it again. ahaha.

Well, my point is, some people do know me better now. But sometimes, I just can’t control the way I feel. When anger or pressure gets the best of me, I start to lash out on the environment. If I somehow can control it, but still not in the mood, I stop responding to people, in other words, I start ignoring people.

I detest all of these but still, I still accidentally do them. But, I know I’m always gonna apologize right after everything cool down. Ask my roomate. I don’t know if he’s secretly hating me a s a roomate (ahaha) but I still am grateful he’s my roomate it should be suffering living with a bipolar-like person like me. ahahaha. Sorry roomate!!

Anyway, when you space out, you actually get to know yourself more. You actually learn what you’ve been lacking and what you’re missing being left out. Now and then, you on the down, then moments later, you’re back on top in the ups and downs of life. Whatever it is, I’m really thankful with my circle of friends.

It’s sad to end another semester. Mean’s we’re stepping so much closer to interning, and graduating. Which only means less time to spend with the friends.

All in all, enjoy the journey. Don’t try to be perfect too much. you end up losing yourself. Just let your friends accept you the way you are.

 

:)